Frankly Speaking

Most people's first times fall well short of the ideal. Here's mine.

I hadn't had a steady girlfriend since the eighth grade, and I was now a couple years into college. I had some dates, plenty of friends who were girls and a few prospects at girlfriends, but for whatever reason, nothing ever came of it. I wasn't really what high school girls were looking for -- I was too short, too skinny, a little too much acne. I wasn't an immature geek, but I was far removed from the stud jock, too. It just wasn't happening.

That changed one summer.

I did play volleyball and was good at it, despite my height (5-9). I was playing with my team against another team in a park in north Phoenix. I think she noticed me before I did her. Maybe not. She laughed at my jokes on the court, and I "protested" about her ability to return my shots. We flirted outrageously afterward. She tried to dump water on me. By the time I left I had a crush, but, silly me, not a name or a number.

Didn't matter. A couple of minutes after I got home, I got a phone call. It was her. How she got my name and number, she didn't reveal. But it was over. Our teams played in a tournament shortly afterward, we made out in the dark away from the courts and suddenly my girlfriend slump was over.

Getting to know each other had one big shocking revelation to me. She was in high school, a senior. I had assumed by the league we played in she was in college, but it wasn't so. She played on her high school team and had been asked to play on the older team. (She later played junior college volleyball). She was also more experienced than me. She had been with a few guys. I hadn't been with any girls. When she found that out, she seemed intrigued rather than put off. She told me flat out she was going to be my first at some point.

But we took it slow. In the back of my head, I was thinking, she's 17, don't get put in jail. But she was looking to speed things up. One day, she asked me to scratch her back, under her shirt. We were in the living room of her home, her mom in the family room. Over a little farther, she kept saying, till I was nearly under her arm. It was evident a back scratch wasn't her aim. My hand moved over to her breast and she immediately kissed me as I felt her, as if to say, "That's exactly the right spot."

Her 18th birthday was approaching, and her promise was ringing in my head. I had found that we weren't all that compatible in interests, but it didn't matter with that out there. She a couple times talked of marriage, and the thought was downright unpleasant to me, but I didn't put cold water on it. I was too long waiting, and she had the key to what I was looking for.

As her 18th approached, I went shopping for a nice pair of earrings for her, and had in mind another "present" -- not all the way, but oral sex. (So gallant of me to pleasure her that way -- ha!) The day fell conveniently on a Friday. We went out on a date. She was wearing tight leather-like pants with zippers for pockets everywhere, like parachute pants had. I remember being at a friend's house for a while. Don't remember where we were after that. I took her back to my house late, with no one up. She had the earrings by then. We had been kissing some, and in my bedroom, I told her I had something more for her. She looked inquistive, and I kissed her and unzipped her pants, and started to pull them down. It wasn't all Hollywood at this point. The pants were so tight it was a bit of a struggle, but when they were finally at her ankles, the panties came off easy, and there in front of me, for the first time ever, was a real live pussy. I was on my knees in front of her, and I immediately went to work, tasting her muskiness.

But instead of enjoying this, she seemed uncomfortable with it. Perhaps she was uncomfortable with the suddenness, or the idea, or perhaps I was just damn clumsy. Whatever, she pulled me up. We talked, we kissed, we flirted. She got her pants back up. I made some joke about my cock, taking a quick peek inside my pants and commenting, "Still there." She had tried, when I pulled the waist band open (what was I wearing?) to take a peek herself, but my little joke was over too fast, and I was too embarrassed to share that view (so why should she have been any different).

She was talking of needing to go home, it was getting late, and she didn't want her strict parents busting her. But I hadn't really gotten far with the oral. I was putting her off. I kept flirting. She was responsive. I went in for another try, kissing and removing clothes. She protested lightly, but didn't stop me. This time, all of her clothes came off as she lay on the floor of my room, next to my nightstand and perpindicular to the bed. (Why didn't we use that?)

She was young, with large firm breasts, a beautiful body, the first female form I had beheld not in a book. My aim was still to just orally pleasure her, and I began again, and again, she shortly pulled me up, hooking under my arms, and bringing me (still clothed) to a point that I was straddling over her body, looking face to face with her.

"Go for it," she said, and I knew what she meant but was caught off-guard by the request somehow.

"You want to?" I whispered.

She nodded in the affirmative.

"Are you protected?" I asked.

She shook her head in the negative.

Well, I had condoms hidden away (this was long before AIDS was thought of anything but a gay disease in pockets of the country, so rubbers, as we knew them, were just guy's birth control). But I was so caught off guard by her request -- how could that have been? -- that I shook my head, and said no, we better not.

She got up and dressed, and I took her home, deflated. She joked during the ride home about going down on me while I drove (was it a joke? I think she might have if had said yes). But I was wide-eyed and said I didn't think I could concentrate to drive if she did that. But the whole ride home, I kept kicking myself. A girl, my girl even, had asked me to enter her, and I had turned her down. What was I thinking? What an idiot I was.

After I dropped her off at her home and saw that she was inside, I even exclaimed it out loud, "What an idiot," as I drove away. I had passed on sex with a sexy girl who was naked in front of me and asking me to do her. My male card should have been revoked.

Well, that was never going to happen again, I vowed. And we were going to be getting together again the very next day.