Friday, March 03, 2006
The first time -- Part Two
The next morning, after she called and we made plans for me to come over, I got a condom (one I should have just pulled out the previous night) out from the hiding spot, stuffed it in my wallet and drove to her place. As I drove, I couldn't help but think of her naked body and hear her "Go for it," in my head, and I vowed this would be the day I would lose my virginity. I was on a mission.
But when I got to her house, though her parents were gone, her older brother was still hanging around and she seemed a little cranky. We hung out, watched TV, and I helped her with homework a little. When her brother took off, and we were alone, I saw my chance. I interrupted the homework with some kissing, and asked if she wanted to today. But this time, she shook her head no. She was trying to get this homework done, and her parents would be home at some point.
Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for. I kept the play up, through her mild protests. I was hoping to warm her up to the idea, but she seemed a bit annoyed with my distractions, though she did return the kisses. Finally, I worked my hand into her pants and found her pussy, wet and warm and wonderful. I played with it in the limited room her pants afforded to me, and she laid back without challenging me. All of a sudden, I could feel the muscles inside her contracting as I was working my finger in her. Her eyes kind of rolled back, and the whole thing startled me. Did she just cum? I hadn't expected it, she didn't moan or anything, and I was too inexperienced to know just what the hell was going on.
Yet still it was a no go. Her parents would be home soon, she pleaded. But I kept on, until my own pleading eyes wore her down, I guess. She stood up from the family room floor, where we were, said a kind of exasperated, surrendering, "Come on," and offered her hand to lift me up at the same time.
She led me to her bedroom, and we laid down on her bed and began kissing and touching and undressing. At one point I thought I heard something outside, so I got to my knees and peeked out her window, which was just above the bed and looked out at the driveway. The coast was clear, but what time did she expect her parents? About 6, she said. There was still a little bit of time, but not much, and there was always the possibility of them coming home early.
So now a little bit of a rush was on. I continued undressing her, till that wonderful naked body was before me again. She started working on my pants, but needed an assist, and I pulled them off, followed by my boxers. Last night, she had seemed eager to see my cock, and I was too embarrassed to share that view, so this unveiling seemed momentous to me. I was hard and ready for her and, after another window check, I laid down on top to kiss her more, feel her more.
The condom was in my wallet in my discarded pants, but that gave me no pause in the bull's rush to get laid. Instead, something unexpected did -- my conscience.
You have to understand, I was a "good" guy. I wasn't one to use women (although I hardly had the chance, either -- HA!). I was a church-goer and though we weren't hallelujah, evangelical, born-again types, "wait till marriage" was still the standard, even if most of us didn't meet it. This was going to happen between her and me sooner or later, and at this point, it was definitely going to be sooner, even if it wasn't now. I had the distinct feeling of regret, that I was pressuring her into this one. And I didn't want it to be that way.
So I stopped the proceedings and sat up. I looked straight into her eyes and, with great seriousness, said to her, "What do you want? (emphasizing the "you")" Then again, slower, to make sure she knew I meant this, "What - do - YOU - want?"
She sat up, too, looking me straight on.
"I want you."
She said it with a breathtaking earnestness and followed it with a kiss to punctuate it. As she did that she hooked her right hand on my hip and pulled me over and down on top of her as she reclined back. As I hovered over now, in position, she spread her legs and put her other hand on my other hip, so that now she controlled me at the waist.
She tugged me toward her, to pull me inside her, but instead my dick missed its mark and glanced off her groin -- once, and again a second time as she tried it again. But I resisted a third, pulling my hips back and breaking her grasp. And then I lowered myself and slid perfectly inside her, all the way to the hilt.
(Funny, because I don't think entry has ever come so perfectly and easily again. There's always some physical resistance, but not this time).
And here it was. My cock was now firmly inside a girl, feeling all the warmth, the wetness, the texture inside her pussy, and instinct was firmly in command of me. I began the in-and-out thrusting, and her arms fell back aside her head. She closed her eyes and turned her head to the pillow, as if to surrender to my fucking her.
"I'm doing it, I'm really doing it," I thought as I barely had started. Inexperienced and seemingly on auto pilot, I kept pumping away and in little time, I could feel the urgency grow inside my balls. I knew what it meant but I could only seem to pump faster. I didn't necessarily want to cum and not inside her, but it was almost as if it couldn't be helped. I wasn't in control of it anymore. The desire to keep fucking her was all there was to me at that moment.
And then I came, laying my seed deep inside her. It was like an out-of-body experience. Was this really me? Had I really cum inside her pussy?
But she knew the answer, and she rolled out from beneath me and made a beeline for her bathroom. At that moment in time, naked, my dick still hard and wet from being inside her, I sat up just stunned. I had just fucked her, but without protection and had cum inside her. With my senses regained, for the first time since last night it seemed, that "What an idiot" screamed back into my head, but with a different meaning. I felt horrible, and she didn't make it any better on her return. She was a little sullen and withdrawn.
Her parents never came home before I left. I had tickets to a college football game that evening and was supposed to meet up with friends, which I did. But I too was withdrawn that night. I knew I was in the wrong for this. I could have been, should have been smarter, and it would have come naturally at any time. I felt horribly wrecked, just a bad person.
We were never the same. There was a pregnancy scare, too, but even as the cloud lifted from that, we were over as a couple. I didn't want anything to do with her anymore, but I knew it was me to blame for that. I had used her, and the emotional wreckage was my burden to carry.
But when I got to her house, though her parents were gone, her older brother was still hanging around and she seemed a little cranky. We hung out, watched TV, and I helped her with homework a little. When her brother took off, and we were alone, I saw my chance. I interrupted the homework with some kissing, and asked if she wanted to today. But this time, she shook her head no. She was trying to get this homework done, and her parents would be home at some point.
Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for. I kept the play up, through her mild protests. I was hoping to warm her up to the idea, but she seemed a bit annoyed with my distractions, though she did return the kisses. Finally, I worked my hand into her pants and found her pussy, wet and warm and wonderful. I played with it in the limited room her pants afforded to me, and she laid back without challenging me. All of a sudden, I could feel the muscles inside her contracting as I was working my finger in her. Her eyes kind of rolled back, and the whole thing startled me. Did she just cum? I hadn't expected it, she didn't moan or anything, and I was too inexperienced to know just what the hell was going on.
Yet still it was a no go. Her parents would be home soon, she pleaded. But I kept on, until my own pleading eyes wore her down, I guess. She stood up from the family room floor, where we were, said a kind of exasperated, surrendering, "Come on," and offered her hand to lift me up at the same time.
She led me to her bedroom, and we laid down on her bed and began kissing and touching and undressing. At one point I thought I heard something outside, so I got to my knees and peeked out her window, which was just above the bed and looked out at the driveway. The coast was clear, but what time did she expect her parents? About 6, she said. There was still a little bit of time, but not much, and there was always the possibility of them coming home early.
So now a little bit of a rush was on. I continued undressing her, till that wonderful naked body was before me again. She started working on my pants, but needed an assist, and I pulled them off, followed by my boxers. Last night, she had seemed eager to see my cock, and I was too embarrassed to share that view, so this unveiling seemed momentous to me. I was hard and ready for her and, after another window check, I laid down on top to kiss her more, feel her more.
The condom was in my wallet in my discarded pants, but that gave me no pause in the bull's rush to get laid. Instead, something unexpected did -- my conscience.
You have to understand, I was a "good" guy. I wasn't one to use women (although I hardly had the chance, either -- HA!). I was a church-goer and though we weren't hallelujah, evangelical, born-again types, "wait till marriage" was still the standard, even if most of us didn't meet it. This was going to happen between her and me sooner or later, and at this point, it was definitely going to be sooner, even if it wasn't now. I had the distinct feeling of regret, that I was pressuring her into this one. And I didn't want it to be that way.
So I stopped the proceedings and sat up. I looked straight into her eyes and, with great seriousness, said to her, "What do you want? (emphasizing the "you")" Then again, slower, to make sure she knew I meant this, "What - do - YOU - want?"
She sat up, too, looking me straight on.
"I want you."
She said it with a breathtaking earnestness and followed it with a kiss to punctuate it. As she did that she hooked her right hand on my hip and pulled me over and down on top of her as she reclined back. As I hovered over now, in position, she spread her legs and put her other hand on my other hip, so that now she controlled me at the waist.
She tugged me toward her, to pull me inside her, but instead my dick missed its mark and glanced off her groin -- once, and again a second time as she tried it again. But I resisted a third, pulling my hips back and breaking her grasp. And then I lowered myself and slid perfectly inside her, all the way to the hilt.
(Funny, because I don't think entry has ever come so perfectly and easily again. There's always some physical resistance, but not this time).
And here it was. My cock was now firmly inside a girl, feeling all the warmth, the wetness, the texture inside her pussy, and instinct was firmly in command of me. I began the in-and-out thrusting, and her arms fell back aside her head. She closed her eyes and turned her head to the pillow, as if to surrender to my fucking her.
"I'm doing it, I'm really doing it," I thought as I barely had started. Inexperienced and seemingly on auto pilot, I kept pumping away and in little time, I could feel the urgency grow inside my balls. I knew what it meant but I could only seem to pump faster. I didn't necessarily want to cum and not inside her, but it was almost as if it couldn't be helped. I wasn't in control of it anymore. The desire to keep fucking her was all there was to me at that moment.
And then I came, laying my seed deep inside her. It was like an out-of-body experience. Was this really me? Had I really cum inside her pussy?
But she knew the answer, and she rolled out from beneath me and made a beeline for her bathroom. At that moment in time, naked, my dick still hard and wet from being inside her, I sat up just stunned. I had just fucked her, but without protection and had cum inside her. With my senses regained, for the first time since last night it seemed, that "What an idiot" screamed back into my head, but with a different meaning. I felt horrible, and she didn't make it any better on her return. She was a little sullen and withdrawn.
Her parents never came home before I left. I had tickets to a college football game that evening and was supposed to meet up with friends, which I did. But I too was withdrawn that night. I knew I was in the wrong for this. I could have been, should have been smarter, and it would have come naturally at any time. I felt horribly wrecked, just a bad person.
We were never the same. There was a pregnancy scare, too, but even as the cloud lifted from that, we were over as a couple. I didn't want anything to do with her anymore, but I knew it was me to blame for that. I had used her, and the emotional wreckage was my burden to carry.
